November 30, 2004

Arrogant Asshat Anchors NBC

Every Leftie talkinghead/Journo seems to be tossing the word arrogance around to describe the Repubs, Bush and anyone who disagrees with their world view. (BTW-I don't recall the term being applied to the Dems during the forty-three years they controlled Congress and the agenda.)

However, should one look up the word in a dictionary you will find a picture of Brian Williams.

Brian Williams, who will succeed Tom Brokaw as the anchor of NBC Nightly News on Wednesday, has not made a good first impression among political bloggers. According to CBS Marketwatch, at a post-election wrap-up session, when a fellow panelist "mentioned that bloggers had had a big impact on the reporting on Election Day, Williams waved that point away by quipping that the self-styled journalists are 'on an equal footing with someone in a bathroom with a modem.'"

Bathroom with a modem? Just how outdated is Williams' computer equipment and I for one have never taken a computer into the frickin' bathroom.

Gees...not yet out of the gate and he's dissing bloggers. I give him 6 months.

(hat tip to Taegan Goddard's Political Wire)

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November 28, 2004

EnNui KaTz

MeESa stRUggLeZ tO sHAke oFf tHe sLeePy pOst-TuRKey blahs...bUt mEyEs FrEn Pi sUmMeD uP a lONg wINteR wEEkEnD PeRfekTtLy. YaWWWnnnn...


--MoLLy

[CATNIP: Carnival of the Cats is up at Watermark and fine Feast 'O Felines it is too! --Zozo]

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November 25, 2004

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November 24, 2004

Hey Dude...

...your mother's outside.

Mom Trucks Thanksgiving Meal to GI Son

HARTLAND, Mich. (AP) - Yvette Boulton wants her son to get a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal before he's deployed to Iraq - so she's trucking the feast 761 miles to Fort Bragg, N.C.

Boulton will be on the road 13 hours so she can feed her son, Army Cpl. Jordan Keilman, 22, and 14 of his friends.

The soldiers must remain within an hour of base so they could be called to Iraq, where many already have served once. Keilman fought in Iraq from September to February.

``I said `I'll cook, and you boys sit around and watch the football game. Just pretend you're at home,''' said Boulton, 47, who is an assistant for a law firm.

On Tuesday night, Boulton packed pots and pans, turkey-shaped plates and napkins, serving dishes, homemade ravioli, freshly baked breads and cookies into the bed of a red Ford F-150 pickup lent to her by a cousin.

Boulton and daughters Kristen Keilman, 20, and Charlene Boulton, 9, planned to be on their way before dawn Wednesday.

The Fort Bragg holiday dinner was conceived a few weeks ago when Boulton called her son to tell him she would be bringing him dinner. She suggested he ``invite a few friends.''

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Ukraine:The Revolution WILL be blogged

Chrenoff has a good handle on the Polish view of the Ukraine's Orange Revolution.

And another good link via Glenn: A Fist Full Of Euros' Ukranian update

Sue has this: Yuschenko Appeals to Armed Forces

Will Yanukovich dare fire upon his countrymen?


UPDATE: From Discoshaman at Le Sabot Post-Modern

Here is some breaking news we've received:

-Authorities have begun violent action against peaceful protesters near the Presidential Admin building. 2 buses of special ops police units drove up and have moved on the demonstrators.

- The tent city has now reached as far as the Central Department Store on Kreshatik Street.

- The pro-Yanukovych tent city seems to be bleeding people at a quick rate. They either can't take the cold, or the heat. :)

- Provocateurs planted an "explosive" device in our tent city. Snipers were called in.

- There are reports of tanks approaching the city. This is still unconfirmed, and I'm skeptical about this one.

Scroll down for eye-witness commentary on the protest .

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November 23, 2004

Tick... Tick... Tick...

Dan Rather Stepping Down

'Evening News' anchor says he'll 'remain a "hard news" investigative reporter' for CBS.

Hard, but accurate.

BUWHAHAHAHAHA!

Mike at Rathergate.com isn't pleased, not at all:

Upon further thought, I don’t believe this is a victory for us at all.

* Rather gets to stay at CBS
* CBS has not released report on Rathergate
* Rather is going to be doing full-time investigative reporting. (?!)

Jim at the KerrySpot is right - we’ve been insulted. Again.

Actually I was hoping for comeuppance more than a victory, as there are no winners in this, only losers on all sides. What next? An announcement late Wednesday that Mapes has "left" the network to pursue other opportunities or spend more time with her family?

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November 20, 2004

107th Big Game

Is that the scent of roses wafting over Strawberry Canyon?

UPDATE: No. 4 Bears Crush Stanford, 41-6

Go Bears


Here's a great page of Big Game trivia for those of you interested in such things...the history of the The Axe, pranks and the kidnapping of both mascots enliven a genial cross-bay rivalry where many families have Red and Blue members. (heh)

The only time in recent memory that real partisanship reared its head was after the historic 1982 Big Game when in the last 31 seconds of the game Cal pulled off the mother-of-all Hail Mary's, giving Cal a 25-20 win. Led by John Elway, Stanford takes a 20-19 lead on a 34-yard field goal by Mark Harmon with 4 seconds left. On the ensuing kickoff, Cal scores on a five-lateral, 57-yard run that ends when the Bears' Kevin Moen runs through the Stanford band and knocks over trombonist Gary Tyrrell in the end zone.

Forever known locally as "The Play" (video file Realplayer Req'd) local radio sportscaster Joe Starkey (wav file) goes nuts calling play-by-play coverage over the roar of the stadium in of one of college football's most memorable plays. I doubt there will ever be another Big Game like it.

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November 19, 2004

T-Day Tchotchkes

Our friends at TNR have the perfect Holiday gift for your despondent Democrat relatives and friends.


Rumor was that a well-known Leftie cybermagazine, that shall remain nameless, planned a John Kerry action figure as well...but the project was shelved after they couldn't decide what action Kerry would take. [rim shot]

Posted by feste at 08:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Moi?

The Left suddenly discovers to their dismay that PC speech applies to their side of the political divide? Sorry, I call Bullchit!

David Bernstein at The Volokh Conspiracy puts it more politely:

No Anti-Semitism Here...:

Likudnik, Part II:

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Lighter Friday Fare

The Rocket Formerly Known as Black


(A hat tip to Hindrocket, who else!?)

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MSM MIA?

While the MSM is busy kissing Bill Clinton's nether parts, a story that is illustrative of the type of enemy we are facing has dropped off the US MSM radar.

DNA tests to reveal if Iraq body is Hassan

DNA tests are being carried out on the mutilated body of western woman found in Fallujah to discover if it is that of the British aid worker Margaret Hassan.

The torso, which was disembowelled and had its arms and legs cut off, was found in the Iraqi city by American soldiers last Sunday.

The body was reported to have been flown out of Iraq for the DNA tests and British officials in Baghdad said they were urgently trying to discover its identity.

The husband and family of Mrs Hassan, 59, said this week that they believe that she is dead after a video emerged of a western woman hostage being shot in the head.

Mrs Hassan, who was the Iraqi director of the charity Care International and had lived in the country for 30 years, was kidnapped at gunpoint in Baghdad on Oct 19.

Big Trunk posts on Iraqi sentiment regarding Hassan's death and terrorism:

Our reader Haider Ajina phoned his father in Baghdad for an update on Iraqi sentiment concerning the Marine killing. Haider sends us the following message:

I just got of the phone with my father in Baghdad. I asked him what is the reaction of the Marine killing the injured Iraqi in the Mosque in Felujah. His first words were "Good riddance."

People are not giving it a second thought. Any terrorist who attacks soldiers from Mosques has no sanctuary. Any terrorists who fake death to kill in a mosque deserve no mercy. He says Iraqis (including Sunnis) are fed up with the terrorists and want them eliminated.

There was much uproar about the brutal kidnapping killing of Mrs. Margaret Hassan. Iraqis are upset outraged and disgusted with her brutal abduction & killing. She helped us, helped the poor & needy and this what the terrorist do to her and her family.

He says we must stay strong, united and relentless in the pursuit of the terrorist. Baghdad had relative calm over the last few days. People are even going out in the street till 9:30pm now.

Please spread the message, let America Know that the Iraqis are with us, grateful and want us to stay strong and get stronger so that we can all defeat terrorism.

Trunk has more on the Marine and the rest of the shooting story in the same post.

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November 18, 2004

Hill-Billy Heaven

Is it just me or does the Clinton Presidential Library look like a double-wide?

Did you catch Larry King's interview with Hillary before the WJC Presidential Library opening?

H. CLINTON: And it also is open and airy and light. And it kind of conveys the sense of openness in our government.

Yes, and we know how important openness and transparency was to the Clintons in office.


UPDATE: HOWARD KURTZ: "I don't remember anything like all this live coverage when Bush 41 opened his library, do you?"

Yabbut, Bush 41 isn't Elvis now is he?

(Kurtz quote via Glenn)

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November 17, 2004

Liberal Bigotry

Perhaps the Left doesn't understand that there is no difference between this and this...but I think they know exactly what buttons they are pushing and it's as ugly as it gets.

What is Slate and the MSM thinking? What message are liberals sending to their children? That it's okay to hate and ridicule minorities who disagree with their point of view? Is this not dangerous ground to sow? Haven't we been there, done that, and have hundreds of years of hatred, misery and too many graves to prove it?

Winfield Myers at The Democracy Project gathered a sample of what the left considers appropriate and clever political fare. The venomous and meanspiritedness of the racial slurs and the volume of hateful black imagery in the MSM aimed at conservative African-Americans is a little shocking in that it comes from those who claim tolerance, racial equality and harmony as a foundation of their political and personal philosophy.

Shame. on. them.

UPDATE:This link is for the Liberal apologists who think racial caricatures are harmless.

UPDATE II: More enlightenment and tolerance from the uber-sophiscated European Left.

(a hat tip to Glenn)

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Required Reading

Hindrocket passes on an email from a Marine in the 11th MEU.

While you're at Powerline, scroll down and read Trunk's They were soldiers...and heroes

We cannot allow the media and the Left do to the Marines of the 3/5 and 3/1 what they did to our Vietnam Vets. Speak up, defend their honor as they defend our lives, it's the least we can do. Too many of us were silent after Vietnam, we just wanted it to be over. The media and the Left took our silence as a mandate to do great harm to men who did not deserve what they received at the hands of their "brothers" and countrymen.

Never Again.

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November 16, 2004

Outrageous

Looks like this has turned into a beat up the media day...but they they are such a target rich environment.

This story illustrates why embeds are a bad idea in a free-fire zone.

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - The U.S. military said Tuesday it is investigating the videotaped fatal shooting of a wounded man by a U.S. Marine in a mosque in Fallujah. Iraqis condemned the act as "cowardice" and "something forbidden in Islam."

Oh really, how about kidnapping, torture, imprisonment and sawing off the heads of innocent civilians? Forbidden? What about the kidnapping and murder of Margaret Hassan, a woman who lived and worked for the good of her adopted country for more than thirty years? How about the missing Polish woman, who may be the mutilated corpse found in the streets of Fallujah? Of course they are simply women thusly expendable. Or the use of a mosque to shelter terrorists, store weapons and as a firing platform? Forbidden? Cowardly?

Where was al-Jazeera and the Arab world's outrage as Saddam Hussein filled mass graves? I for one am really tired of the Arabic pity song and I do not want to hear it in our media. It's outrageous.

All I need to know about this story is summed up in one short sentence:

Sites reported that a Marine in the same unit had been killed a day earlier when he tended to the booby-trapped dead body of an insurgent.

It's a pity that our networks and MSM cannot see beyond getting a scoop...that what they film and write can be used to kill more of our military....the same young men who will willingly stand between the embeds and death.

We need to let SecDef Rumsfeld know that's it's time to pull the embeds. They are more of a liability than an aid.

Donald Rumsfeld
Secretary of Defense
1000 Defense Pentagon
Washington, DC 20301-1000
http://www.defenselink.mil/faq/comment.html
Telephone 703-428-0711

UPDATE: Blackfive writes:

First, Kevin Sites, the embed reporter from NBC (who's video footage of the shooting has been broadcast around the world) is an blatant opportunist who had a responsibility to turn over the video footage to Marine Authorities, but, instead chose to broadcast it, give the entire tape to Al Jazeera, etc. It should not have been used for publicity, for television ratings, etc. Sites should have turned it over with the expectation that he would get it back. The video was broadcast (in full) on Al Jazeera - including the identities of the Marines.

Yeah, Matt, but that would require ethics.

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Et Tu Europa?

Gloating would be unseemly, but we tried to warn these arrogant asshats that after radical Islam came for the Americans, it would come for them.

Religious violence in Netherlands alarms Germany

BERLIN - There is growing alarm in Germany over the torching of mosques, churches and schools in the Netherlands following the brutal killing of Islam-critical film director Theo van Gogh.

With 3.4 million Muslims comprising 4 percent of Germany's population, the question was put this way by a banner headline in the conservative Bild newspaper: "Is the hate going to come here?" asked the biggest selling tabloid.

[...]

Germany's tough-minded interior minister, Otto Schily, spoke at the weekend of "a danger" to the country despite successes in integrating the majority of immigrants.

Schily drew headlines earlier this year with a harsh warning to Islamic fundamentalists: "If you love death so much, then it can be yours."

German opposition conservatives are demanding a ban on preaching in mosques in any language other than German.

Calls for such a move were fuelled by a dramatic TV film secretly made last week in a Berlin mosque.

“These Germans, these atheists, these Europeans don’t shave under their arms and their sweat collects under their hair with a revolting smell and they stink,” said the preacher at the Mevlana Mosque in Berlin’s Kreuzberg district, in the film made by Germany’s ZDF public TV, adding: “Hell lives for the infidels! Down with all democracies and all democrats!”

There are also demands for loosening German laws to make it easier to expel foreign extremists after years of wrangles to win approval for deportation of radical Turkish Islamist, Metin Kaplan, the self- styled "Caliph of Cologne".

Udo Ulfkotte, a German journalist who has received death threats since writing a critical book on Islam titled "The War in our Cities," underlines that many of the group responsible for the 11 September 2001 attacks on the US had lived in Germany.

Asked about van Gogh's killing, Ulfkotte said: "The spark could jump over here at any time. We just need a provocation like in Holland. Islamists in Germany approved of (van Gogh's) murder and many of them actually cheered it."

But other experts - while not downplaying threats - warn against being alarmist.

Steffen Angenendt, a migration expert at the German Council on Foreign Relations and member of the German government's "Council of Experts on Immigration and Integration," argues Germany is far better off than the Netherlands.

Holland, says Angenendt, now faces "the rubble" of its failed policy of tolerant multi-culturalism for which it was the European flagship during the past decades.

Isn't it interesting, one murder and the Europeans, the basition of tolerance and sophisication, turns on each other and Islamic immigrants. Wonder how they will react when they've a pile of burning rubble and thousands of dead?

Do not dial USA 911, we are not available to take your call.

David's Medienkritik has much more on this topic and other critical issues roiling Germany, IMO he's a must read.

WamS Henryk Broder finds characteristically blunt words for the appeasement policy of the multi-cultural society:

Appeasement and again Appeasement

The open society is not threatened, it is in a state of dissolution. The date on which the unconditional surrender was announced can be exactly identified: It was the day that the fatwa was issued against Salman Rushdie and the European institutions and governments did NOT react with an immediate break in ALL ties to the Mullah-Regime. Instead those multi-culturally oriented knowers came out and explained to us why Rushdie would have done better not to provoke the mullahs.

Europe - Your Last Name is Appeasement!

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Same Old Jive

The first step to overcome an addiction is to admit you have a problem. The MSM doesn't seem to understand that the information Genie is out of the bottle, that the old rules no longer apply. The big three Networks meet and wonder how they called election results wrong — again... of course! It's those pesky bloggers! Yeah, that's the ticket!

Major network news chiefs review election, look to future

STANFORD, Calif. (AP) - The presidents of the three major television network news divisions were concerned about early election day exit polls that wrongly indicated Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry was leading President Bush in several key battleground states.

But they also said the problem had been compounded when the exit polls, which were sponsored by a consortium of major news organizations including the Associated Press, were leaked onto the Internet. That, the presidents said Monday night, resulted in a widely publicized but ultimately incorrect expectation of how the election would ultimately turn out.

"We're not happy that the exit polls, even in the first wave, were wrong," said NBC News president Neal Shapiro at a joint appearance of network news presidents at Stanford University. "We're all reviewing it, it should have been better. I think there were mistakes, some of which we're trying to figure out, and some of which we can't."

Shapiro and the other news presidents - David Westin of ABC News and Andrew Heyward of CBS News - met in a public forum to discuss and take questions about network coverage of the election, as well as the challenges posed by the rise of Fox News Channel, the proliferation of news across multiple media "platforms," and a public increasingly unwilling to plan around a fixed-time network newscast.

"There is an explosion in the number of news and quasi-news outlets and it goes into the Internet, it goes into broadband, streaming video, it's now on cell phones ... and those of us in network news have to recognize that," Westin said. "Technology is making it possible that the audience wants us to come to them, instead of making them coming to us which is traditionally what network news has done."

What crap. They've been caught flat-out peddling bias, bogus memos, recycling old stories, and calling a lead while polls are still open in the much of the country and they can only come up with the internet dog ate their homework?

Sorry Gentlemen, it's time to say Goodnight...network news is so over.

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Yellow Flagged

Liberals still don't get that Red Staters are not big fans of the Northeastern MSM/Hollywood cabal or their values.

Garrison Keillor is becoming an embarrassing side show fossil with tiresome humor such as this:

Not one to shy away from speaking his mind, Keillor proposed a solution to what he deemed a fundamental problem with U.S. elections. “I’m trying to organize support for a constitutional amendment to deny voting rights to born-again Christians,” Keillor smirked. “I feel if your citizenship is in Heaven—like a born again Christian’s is—you should give up your citizenship. Sorry, but this is my new cause. If born again Christians are allowed to vote in this country, then why not Canadians?”

How, quaint and 1960's. I hope the Dems follow advice from the likes of Keillor and James "Serpenthead" Carville...it will insure their marginalization.

Tom Brokaw felt Red Country's scorn recently. One wonders if Brian Williams will fare better as he's an avid NASCAR fan and rubs elbows with the red staters on a regular basis. One assumes Williams is liberal in bent or he wouldn't have risen to the top of his field, but he has a wicked sense of humor and a passing acquaintance with Red State America.

Williams' assumption of the Brokaw/NBC anchor chair is an excellent opportunity for NBC to moderate their leftward tilt and perhaps regain a little credibility with middle America. Will they seize the day or will Tim Russert's Northeastern elitist Washington-centric spin prevail?

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Madame Secretary

About damn time Bush appointed a SecState with cajones.

Wonder how long before the Leftie print MSM unleashes more bigoted nappy-hair, buck-toothed cartoons?

One suspects our weasely "friends" in Europe aren't any too happy today...which IMO is a side bennie.

Baldilocks likes Condi's appointment too, and has an intriguing suggestion for Education Secty.

Posted by feste at 06:39 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 12, 2004

Peterson Verdict

Scott Peterson found guilty of 1st degree murder of wife Laci, 2nd degree for baby Conner with extenuating circumstances. Jury to reconvene for penalty phase on Nov 22nd. Oddly Peterson attorney Mark Geragos was not in court, nor was his father Lee Peterson.

Perhaps the Rocha and Grantski families were served a little justice today, not that it will mend their heartache, but those who harm pregnant women will face double jeopardy thanks to their efforts.

Sharon Rocha watches as President Bush signs the Unborn Victims of Violence Act during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House on Thursday. Standing behind Rocha is her husband, Ron Grantski. The legislation makes it a federal crime to harm a fetus during an assault on a pregnant woman.

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November 11, 2004

Veteran's Day

I thank all who have served defending our freedom, but this year one group of Vet's deserve a special thank you:

SwiftVets.jpg
They Served
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One Less Terrorist

A Dreamer Who Forced His Cause Onto World Stage

Gah. Have these people no shame? This is why red country looks at the MSM and blanches.

This is the product of Arafat's dream:

Suicide bombing of Egged bus no. 19 in Jerusalem January 29, 2004

Victims:
- Avraham (Albert) Balhasan, 28, of Jerusalem
- Rose Boneh, 39, of Jerusalem
-Hava Hannah (Anya) Bonder, 38, of Jerusalem
- Anat Darom, 23, of Netanya
- Viorel Octavian Florescu, 42, of Jerusalem
- Natalia Gamril, 53, of Jerusalem
- Yechezkel Isser Goldberg, 41, of Betar Illit
- Baruch (Roman) Hondiashvili, 38, of Jerusalem
- Dana Itach, 24, of Jerusalem
- Mehbere Kifile, 35, of Ethiopia
- Eli Zfira, 48, of Jerusalem

Posted by feste at 05:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 10, 2004

OOOH-RAH!

On this day in a Philadelphia tavern, the Continental Congress gave birth to the Marine Corps almost a full year before the Declaration of Independence. More than two centuries later in Fallujah, America still looks to the Marines to do the job no one else can.

General Hagee's Marine Corps 229th birthday message

Master Sgt. David Szablewski of the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit celebrates the Marine Corps birthday by taking a bite of cake as the oldest Marine present on Forward Operating Base Kalsu, Iraq. Szablewski, 54, is a Naperville, Ill., native and Communications Detachment chief with Marine Wing Communications Squadron-48, a reserve unit from Chicago attached to the MEU's aviation combat element. The 24th MEU is currently conducting security and stability operations in northern Babil province.

54 years old and still in the field.

As our Marines once more go into the breach, stop and reflect on the character of the men and women who become marines.

Sgt. Albert A. Schmid

As part of the 11th Machine Gun Squad, Co. H, 2nd Battalion, 1st Regiment, 1st Marine Division, Schmid became part of the largest Marine force ever engaged in landing operations. They assaulted Guadalcanal in the first American offensive against the Japanese. After one buddy was killed and another injured, Schmid was left loading and firing a machine gun for more than four hours. Then came the Japanese grenade that would take Schmid's sight -- but not his courage.

Shouting at an injured friend to "tell me which way [they're] coming from and I'll get [them]," he resumed firing, sightless. After the field cleared on Aug. 21, Marines on the scene credited Schmid with 200 kills.

. . . . . .

The 3/5 brings the fight to Fallujah, Marines Hold 70% of Fallujah.
NEAR FALLUJAH, Iraq - U.S. Marines said American forces today had taken control of 70 percent of Fallujah in the third day of a major offensive to retake the insurgent stronghold.

Major Francis Piccoli, of the First Marine Expeditionary Force, said enemy fighters were bottled up in a strip of the city flanking the major east-west highway that splits Fallujah.

God Speed, Gentlemen.


UPDATE: Blackfive 'splains why a Marine might ask to be kicked in the ass.

Winds Of Change posts: links, Fallujah, necessary.

Posted by feste at 07:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 07, 2004

IgLoO KaRnIVaL KaTz

ShuNdAE! KarNIvAL oF tHe KAtZ tiME 'n fUr a cUTsY piCThEr oF mOi. FeSTe sNEAkEd uP oN MeEsa sNug iN mEEs IglOO hOUse aN pOinTeD tHat CliCkY-fLaShy blACk thIng aT mEEsa. It wUz tOO nICe an wARm to mOVe...sO Eyes didn'T.

--MoLLy

[CATNIP: Mind of Mog has out done herself. Go. See. Cats. What else were you expecting?
--Zozo]

Posted by feste at 02:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Get A Grip, People

I took a few days off from politics and blogging to decompress and enjoy a burst of warm autumn weather, this, IMO, is the best time of the year in the Bay Area.

Just when I thought the "Election 2004" category was ready for retirement, this article arrived in the Sunday SF Chronicle, by Adair Lara

RED STATE, BLUE STATE
California's political map reflects the nation -- Dems capture metro area while vast interior goes Repulican: DEMOCRATS Kerry supporters find a little solace -- in cheesecake

"Oh! Somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville -- mighty Casey has struck out.

When the mighty Kerry struck out on Tuesday, Bay Area voters in their Dump Bush T-shirts found themselves on a salt shore. Of the eight patients San Francisco psychotherapist Frances Verrinder saw Wednesday, seven were upset and frightened to the point of tears.

In another part of town, Joyce Renaker began "eating chocolate and speaking in obscenities."

"Where do we hang our hope? For years I've been hanging it on the election," she said. "I'm floundering, disoriented."

Vicki Cormack found her neighbor on her knees, weeping. Ron Armstrong of San Francisco is waiting for his upstairs tenant to come out of his depression so he can ask him for the rent check.

Berkeley writer Wendy Lichtman, knuckles sore from knocking on doors in Precinct 17 of Tempe, Ariz., threw out her roll of Kerry/Edwards stickers because she couldn't bear to look at it.


Others weren't ready to put away the artifacts of hope. For months Pat Kunstenaar, a Woodacre therapist and lifelong gardener, pinned Howard Dean buttons on nursing home patients while her tomato plants died. When she took her grandchildren out in the car, she stuffed Kerry bunting and signs on top of them. Now she refuses to take the 6-foot cardboard image of Kerry out of her Passat.

"He folds," she defended herself.


Buwhahahaha!

Something tells me Ms. Kunstenaar didn't catch the irony in her remark. The Dems have a far larger problem than simply not explaining their agenda and beliefs to the American voter, they are in need of some serious introspection when adults react in the manner described over an election.

Whatever the voters do with their Kerry signs, they are heartsore. What now? Kerry voters seem to have responded to the defeat of their candidate in ways that can be summed up as fight or flight.

Of those who chose flight, many meant it literally. Chris Simpkins of Oakland and his wife looked up Canada's immigration rules on the Internet and added up their assets to see if they had enough money to emigrate.

The unmarried could seek a satirical option: the spoof site www.marryanamerican.ca is trying to find them mates because "These lonely, afraid (did we mention really hot?) progressives will need a safe haven.''

The site offers discouraged liberals a chance to meet attractive Canadian tree huggers and cattle wranglers eager to give them a new home.

"I'm willing to help one of you escape from Bush-land," says Tanya from Toronto. She adds, "Being cute, wiry and dark-haired would be a plus!"

Beverly Held is moving to France. Louis Bryan of San Francisco is studying Dutch. Liz Williams of Alameda dug up her application for an Italian passport and is, she said, looking for business connections internationally.

Buh-bye!

I would have been very disappointed had Bush lost, but I would not have fallen on my knees and wept. However, I might have eaten an entire chocolate silk pie.

Linda Sandsmark did something she hadn't done since her Girl Scout days. "I split a banana lengthwise, stuffed the opening with slices of a leftover Hershey's Halloween bite-size bar, and microwaved it. Cheered me up for a minute or two."

San Ramon's Brenda Watkins and her partner attempted suicide by dessert - - "Pumpkin cheesecake with bourbon caramel sauce, and pecan pie with homemade vanilla ice cream."

When the going gets tough, the tough cook. Dave McElroy of San Francisco raised thousands for Kerry by selling places at private dinner parties he gave for friends and family. That experience taught him the solace of making a contribution. He's now doing a dinner for an AIDS benefit.

Angelina Hart, who lives in Point Reyes, could not watch the election returns. Instead she cut open a pumpkin, steamed it, made a crust, and built a pie. When the pie was done she made the leftover filling into pumpkin tarts, then took out the ice cream maker and made pumpkin ice cream, which she brought to her husband, Graham Hewlett, in a bowl. He wasn't watching either. He was reading Herman Melville's "Moby Dick."

Another perfect metaphor, are Liberals really this out of touch with reality?

Why yes. Yes they are.

Penny Greenberg, who feels as if she does not belong in her own country anymore, offered, "My only consolation is that someday this planet will be a dead cinder in the universe and all the stupidity, greed, and intolerance and their sad, sad consequences will be lost to all memory."

Hmmm...seems sort of extreme...wishing extermination of all life on the planet because her candidate didn't win a 4-8 year term in office?

However, to be fair, not all Bay area Libs are barking moonbats, some like you and me simply pick up their routine and get on with it...life is transitory, so is defeat.

Many find refuge in routine.

Meg Rosenfeld cleaned her house, did laundry, and caught up on long- overdue correspondence.

"Life has to go on and it might as well go on in a clean, comfortable manner!"

Marti Geiger of Sacramento can't worry about her own damp hell. She is too busy trying to set a brisk example for her dejected 18-year-old son, a first-time voter, who watched in disbelief as his side lost.

"The day after the elections, my job was still there, food was still on the table, and life resumed its normal course,'' she said. "I told him that he should rejoice in this country, the day after a defeat he could still go to his university classes, I could still toil away to pay for his tuition, and life would still go on.

"The sun rises and sets, no matter who is president."

The smallish twist of the guilt knife was a nice closing touch.

I hope these people continue to whine and bitch, cuz it's going to reduce their margins each and every election until they face facts that they are out of touch with the majority of their fellow Americans on a wide range of issues. Many of whom are not part of the Religious Right, and share many of the same views on social policy, but will not allow the defense of the country to be turned over to people who are not serious.

Someone should also tell them that normal adults don't run to a psychotherapist, wish annihilation on the planet, nor drive around with a life-size cardboard cutout of their presidential candidate in their front passenger seat after the election....or the county map is going to get a whole lot redder.

Guess I just did.

Posted by feste at 02:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 05, 2004

Liberal License

Sweet Jeebus. You have to read this one to believe it.

Posted by feste at 07:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Harsh, But Accurate

Michele is pissed. She sums up what many of us living in blue country feel after two days of Leftie whining, carping and threatening. They'll do what? Stamp their feet? Pout? Sign petitions? Wave their sophomoric signage about?

We. don't. give. a. rat's. ass.

To paraphrase Gov. Ahnold "why should we listen to losers?"

Posted by feste at 07:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Yeah...They're Sorry

Tim Blair and Evil Pundit post photos from International Sorry Day.

These sorry wankers actually think this is amusing...well, it is, but not in the way they intended.

Note the chick from Texas apologising to UBL to save her sorry ass and Pixy Misa's very, very, very sorry list.

"Sorry to Canada. There's a horde of moonbats flocking in your direction. The time to close the border is now. "

Not.

Posted by feste at 06:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wut?

The Libs continue their trip up a certain river in Egypt. Nancy Pelosi sums it up nicely; red-landers voted for Bush because they were uninformed. Yeppers, we simply didn't know all his faults and mistakes...so naturally we didn't hold him responsible.

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi of California contended the Democrats' coming self-examination "is not about soul-searching."

"It may be about how we can educate the American people more clearly on the difference between Democrats and Republicans," she said. "But we know what the soul of the Democratic Party is, and it's about prosperity and community and opportunity and fairness."

Oh, really?...you mean these open and fair Dems?

SF Post Election Rally

One can only hope the Dems follow the likes of Ms. Pelosi's in their steady march off the cliffs of moonbatism.


Meanwhile, The Baseball Crank offers an analysis of the new voter, an illustration of the Dems problem...even as they bragged of registering millions of new voters, they couldn't turn them out.

The conventional wisdom was that increased turnout would help Democrats. If this were true, one would expect that, at least in contested states, the marginal voters would break for Kerry - i.e., that when you subtract out the 2000 returns from each side, what's left should lean Kerry. This would be true unless Bush moved so many Gore voters to his column (above and beyond the number of 2000 Bush voters who abandoned him) to negate the benefits of new Kerry-leaning voters. (My own suspicion is that, in general, the people who voted last time and switched sides were close to a wash, although they likely broke for Bush in some places like NJ where he lost decisively last time but closed the gap significantly).

Read it all, the tables offer a much different picture than the Dems proclaimed re-election.

(hat tip to Insta)

Posted by feste at 07:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 04, 2004

US Rewards Ally

Macedonia, was officially recognised by the U.S. today...much to the displeasure of age-old antagonist Greece...who has blocked Macedonian recognition for a decade.

GA Resolution 47/225 (1993)28 admitted Macedonia to UN membership subject to the acceptance of the following points: (i) Macedonia was to be referred to by the provisional name ‘the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia’ for all purposes within the United Nations, and (ii) it was to negotiate with Greece over its name.

Since modern Macedonians claim Bulgarian ancestry, not Greek, this is a very big deal in the Balkans and pokes the EU and UN squarely in the eye.

Row as U.S. 'recognizes Macedonia'

Greece 'summons U.S. ambassador'

The United States has recognized the former Yugoslav republic of Macedonia as "Macedonia," the name strongly disputed by Greece for the past 13 years, a senior Macedonian government official said.

"Yes they have recognized Macedonia by its constitutional name," the source told Reuters on condition of anonymity.
In Athens, Greece's Foreign Minister said it had urgently called in the U.S. ambassador Thursday to explain reports that Washington plans to recognize Greece's northern neighbor with the disputed name.

Greece has opposed the adoption of the name since the republic won independence from Yugoslavia in 1991. Until now it had the support of all NATO allies, except Turkey, for refusing recognition.

Greece's Foreign Minister said in a statement that Foreign Minister Petros Molyviatis has also abruptly cancelled a visit to a European Council meeting in Brussels over the issue.

"There actually is this information and the Minister has cancelled his trip to Brussels for the European Council," the statement said.

Macedonia is also the name of Greece's northern province, birthplace of Alexander the Great. The two neighbors have been involved in U.N.-led talks for an acceptable name for both sides for over a decade.

Macedonia is a member of the U.S.-led military alliance in Iraq.

I suspect we will see more of this sort of thing, small, but meaningful rewards, as Bush shores up our alliances.

Posted by feste at 03:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The Last Cut Is the Unkindest

As the Left tries to understand how they lost middle America, the answer is very simple, it was indeed about moral values, and one many hold as the highest; Honor. Kerry's failure to grasp the depth of loathing he engendered among his peers, his decision to use Vietnam and his whack salute at the convention, was a cultural blunder from which he couldn't recover.

The Swifties( and Vets generally) were determined to deny Kerry the White House, they put their own reputations on the line and took incredible abuse, but they never waivered. They were on their last mission. No matter how you slice and dice the election results, in the final analysis it was Kerry's Band of Brothers, and his own words and deeds against them, that defeated him.

Blackfive posts what I consider the last word on John Forbes Kerry, written by MilBlog Poet Laureate (and paratrooper), Russ Vaughn:


Their Veterans’ Day

Some said let you apologize
But that wouldn’t do it in our eyes.
A man astride of each position
Could we believe your true contrition?
And on deaf ears your words would fall
To those whose names are on that Wall
The vindication they now accept
In settling up this long-held debt,
Is that for them we gave our best
And denied you, John, your lifelong quest.
We fought for them, fought for our own,
To make you reap what you had sown.
Listen carefully John to what we say,
November 2d was their Veterans’ Day.


Russ Vaughn
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
Vietnam 65-66

Posted by feste at 07:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 03, 2004

Mandate?

Why yes, I think so. Jon at Misplaced Keys has a "by county' map that shows many Dem strongholds, incuding California, are turning red, county, by county. The Democrats are becoming increasingly isolated in a sea of red Conservatives.

UPDATE: Today's SF Chronicle published the county map with winner percentage totals for the state. While California went into the Kerry column, we did so with only a 10.3% margin. The winning margin percentage in many "blue" states is growing slimmer each election.

Kevin Aylward thinks the Democrats have become a minority party.

Given the history of presidential elections, it appears that a Democratic candidate gets 40% of the vote for just showing up. Republicans historically did not have that kind of built-in base. GOP candidates had to reach out to Independents and continuously expand the GOP base in the face of the larger Democratic vote machine. Building on the success of Ronald Reagan's Dixiecrats (conservative Southern Democrats), the GOP has converted large swaths of former Democrats and Independents into Republicans.

The defeat of John Kerry proves that the historic equation has reversed. Democrats now cannot win a national election without drawing from a conservative/libertarian pool in the red states. The 40% Democratic base is not enough to win - period.

Kevin's not very optimistic about the Left's ability to take a lesson from defeat, that their response will be to ratchet up the anger and volume.

Personally I'm hoping that things like Howard Dean for DNC Chairman pan out. Keep pinning your hopes on P. Diddy, Michael Moore, George Soros, et. all. If they continue down that path they'll know exactly what Goldwater felt like in 1964.

It will be interesting to see how the left side of the aisle handles John Kerry's unwillingness to fall on his sword in order to provide the moonbat wing a hook on which to hang their hopes for 2008.

Posted by feste at 03:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Works For Me

The LLama Butchers get down:

Dan Rather to Ed "Avast, Mateys" Bradley:

DAN RATHER: One would expect that the blogging machine which the White House and the Bush-Cheney campaign has used for any number of purposes over their four years will start now, if it hasn't started already, to say, listen, Kerry-Edwards, for the good of the country, need to concede.

ED BRADLEY: I'm sure it's started already. If we could tune into the Internet we'd see that people are already saying that now. That's certainly the drum the White House is beating.

We need a flying monkey theme---we're Karl Rove's winged monkeys, or something like that. Gordon?

Definitely set to a James Brown beat, though, something like this:

Get up get up get up

get on up
stay on the scene

get on up
like a Blogging Machine.
Get on up
get up
Shake your arm
then use your form.
Stay on the scene like a Blog Machine.
You gotta have the feeling
sure as you're born.
Get it together
right on
right on

get up
get up
get up

Posted by feste at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What A Difference A Day Makes

I disagree with the Kerry kudos and conciliation-speak that I am reading in the right side of the blogosphere. Even Geraghty has fallen for Kerry's faux sincerity.

This sounds like a joke, but Kerry's concession speech was the best of his campaign.

Kerry Spot reader John notes, "If this guy had shown up 2 months ago, he would have won. Sounds like Bob Shrum's work."

Are you nuts? Monday we were a Bible-thumping, brainwashed Rovian army of brownshirted-Nazi's, feeding the nation's youth into the Iraq hopper for Cheney's Halliburton pals, while throwing our grandparents down the stairs. There was no epithet too vile or image too distorted to describe conservatives and moderates.

If the right has one fatal flaw that puts us at a disadvantage every election cycle, it's manners. So we stand like deer in the headlights unable to react to the sheer nastiness and hatred the left spews. Then Kerry makes an ass-covering, disengenious concession speech and everyone is ready to join hands and sing Kumbayah?

Puleeeze.

We should be suspicious, very suspicious of Dems bearing peace-pipes. I am not saying we should gloat, but we won, dammit, in spite of a rigged deck,why should we apologize? The blogosphere provided a platform that enabled us to fight the worst media onslaught in living memory. We pushed the DNC's shit back into their faces, fact-checked the MSM and generally refused to accept defeat.

So if you buy the left's "Can't-we-all-just-get-along-for-the-good-of-the-country" schtick, don't be surprised when you're cold-cocked from behind at the next opportunity and I have a very nice, like-new bridge that you can have real cheap.

Posted by feste at 01:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Whoa!!

Fox is reporting that Kerry has called the White House to concede!

NBC News confirms.

BUSH RE-ELECTED!!!

UPDATE: Nevada's 5 EV officially declared for Bush; putting Bush over the the top with 274 EV

Posted by feste at 08:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Elected not Selected

Well...crap.

OHIO
100% of Precincts Reporting
George W. Bush 2,794,346 - 51 percent
John Kerry 2,658,125 - 48 percent

NATIONAL
99% of Precincts Reporting
George W. Bush 51% 58,301,150
John Kerry 48% 54,782,697

Guess my victory dance was premature...scared the cats for naught.

I packed it in about 1:30 AM PT thinking I'd wake up and find Bush's numbers putting him over the top. So now we wait for the asshats lawyers to take over.

The media bias grinds on, desperate to pull this out for their guy. Ann Althouse notes:

MEDIA BIAS IN CALLING THE STATES? Generic Confusion notes: "All close Kerry states are listed as Kerry pickups. All close Bush states are listed as undecided."

Yes, why is Wisconsin called for Kerry already? Only 99.3% of the vote is in with 1,466,963 (49.3%) for Bush and 1,480,256 (49.8%) for Kerry. I did notice on TV this morning that Fox hadn't called Wisconsin yet. The NYT also hasn't called Wisconsin. There is a .5 percentage point difference in Wisconsin with .7% of the vote still to count. In Ohio, which is getting so much attention, the percent counted is listed as 100 and Bush has 51.0% over Kerry's 48.5%. That's a 2.5% point lead. How can anyone call Wisconsin before Ohio and expect to escape charges of bias?

Indeed.

The DJ jumps 175 in first half hour as Wall Street endorses four more years.

A sign that Bush will be declared the winner? Snark begins at The Corner

[KJL] Kerry couldn't. Wouldn't. Kerry as Minority Leader?

Nah. He'd have to show up.

Gloating to follow.

Didn't you love Peter Jenning's interview with Bill Frist last night. Frist handed the Dems a stunning defeat in the senate, unseating a minority leader for the first time in 52 years, and what does Jennings have to say? "Will you ban Abortion?"

No bias here...no none...but CBS delivered the best line of the night: Dan said “We’d rather be last than wrong.”

Be careful for what you wish Dan.

Vote or Die...whatever Dude. Seems the effort and money the Dems poured into the youth vote didn't pan out for them as the percentage for 18-25 yr-old (17%) was exactly the same as 2000. The statistic that was the most stunning was that the youth demographic was split 49%-49% on the war...in spite of the constant draft drum-beat. Kids are not a dumb as the Dems thought...or as motivated.

The Captain's Quarters sends The Guardian a big shout-out:

So much for the Guardian's Operation Clark County:

Bush -- 34,444 (50.96%)
Kerry -- 32,824 (48.56%)

More from Capt Ed:

Once that math starts to sink in at Kerry's campaign HQ, I suspect we'll be hearing a concession from the once and future Massachussetts Senator. The math will sink in elsewhere in the party, and as I heard at least one Democratic spokesperson say on television a couple of hours ago, Kerry will be forced to concede by his own party. Attempting to pull another Florida after losing by so many votes, and losing the popular vote by over three points, will be disastrous to the Democrats.

Expect the concession speech by noon today. All the votes will be counted, of course, but the outcome is not in doubt. Only the character of the loser is.

This we already know all too well.

Posted by feste at 07:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 02, 2004

Tonight's The Night

Nothing to say today that asn't been said, endlessly...so I'll be over here.

The Command Post

Join us at The Command Post for live chat, commentary, election correspondents, photos and of course updated breaking news from around the country and the world.

While you're waiting for the results, check out Neophyte Pundit's



Bonfire of the Vanities, Week 70

The Election Edition



The Best of Me Symphony is up for your enjoyment at The Yuma Tech Consortium...lots to read while we wait for Dubya to be re-elected and the MSM trys to dampen Republican turnout with their predictions of a Kerry landslide turn-out and faux cheer.

They're all goin' down.

BIG TIME.

VOTE!

Posted by feste at 07:55 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 01, 2004

Must Read

Lt. Gen. Michael "Rifle" DeLong, former deputy commander of CentCom, rebutts Kerry's distortions of the Afghan campaign.

Setting the Record Straight on Tora Bora

In recent days, John Kerry has repeatedly accused President Bush of having "outsourced the job" in Tora Bora to kill Osama bin Laden. Knight Ridder reporters concluded that in Tora Bora we "relied on three Afghan warlords" to catch bin Laden, "ignored" warnings from our own officers about incorrect methodology, and that we also relied on the Afghan warlords as our blocking forces, thus letting more than 1,000 al Qaeda fighters escape. As the No. 2 general at CentCom in charge of the Afghanistan War, I can say with certainty that all of these allegations are incorrect. And it is past time someone set the record straight on what really happened in Tora Bora.

We strategized Tora Bora in essentially the same way we strategized the rest of the Afghanistan war: by using a combination of our elite Special Forces and CIA Agents, embedded with native Afghan troops. We chose this approach in waging the Afghan war for many reasons: it minimized the number of U.S. troops put in harm's way; it drew on the strengths of the native Afghans who had been fighting in that terrain for years and who were adept at traversing the mountainous terrain on horseback; and it helped avoid the same mistake the Soviets made in Afghanistan. They had opted for a large troop presence and ended up with thousands of their troops killed.

The fact that we took Afghanistan in a matter of weeks -- a feat which tens of thousands of Soviet troops were unable to accomplish in a matter of years -- proves that our strategy was exactly the right approach for Afghanistan. This was essentially the same strategy we employed at Tora Bora. Thus, to say that we "outsourced" the job when we relied primarily on American Special Forces and American CIA agents is absurd.

This is especially the case in Tora Bora. I said "essentially" the same strategy because in Tora Bora we did shift tactics. Instead of letting the Afghan warlords have command (as they had for the rest of the Afghan war), we put U.S. Special Forces in command. These Special Forces conceived and executed the attack on Tora Bora, while the Afghan warlords took orders from us. We never "relied" on them: we were 100% in charge. Few people realize that Tora Bora began as a ground war, led by U.S. troops; bombing only followed later. Despite what some have said, no caves were too deep for our reach. We bombed nonstop for three weeks. We received many leads on bin Laden's whereabouts, and had U.S. troops rush in only to find dry holes.

The Knight Ridder reporters claim that we let 1,200 U.S. Marines sit idly by in an air base 80 miles away from Tora Bora while the Afghans did the fighting for us. This is also not the case. Gen. Tommy Franks, working with the Special Forces commander and consulting with the secretary of defense, all agreed that tactically it would be best not to use those 1,200 troops. It was a deliberate decision, because using them would have meant killing hundreds -- if not thousands -- of Afghan civilians, hostile to a heavy U.S. presence. A strong Afghan warlord presence was essential. We could have sent more U.S. forces in and killed everybody -- but we may very well still not have gotten bin Laden, and we would have definitely forever put the South at odds with us. Indeed, if we pursued such a strategy, the ramifications would be so great that it is quite possible there would be no stable Afghan government today.

The same holds true for the border region between Afghanistan and Pakistan, where bin Laden likely escaped (if indeed he was there to begin with). The Knight Ridder reporters claim that we relied on the Afghan warlords to block the border for us. Again, this is incorrect. We relied on the Pakistani Frontier Forces -- once again, because we had to. The U.S. could not go in to the border region with a heavier presence without sparking a war with the locals; indeed, the regular Pakistani army could not even go in there without sparking a war. The border area had to be blocked by Pakistani Frontier Forces if we didn't want to risk murdering thousands of civilians and making Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf's position untenable with his people. Such actions would have meant losing a strong U.S. ally in Gen. Musharraf, an ally who has facilitated the killing or capturing of the largest percentage of al Qaeda in the world since 9/11.

Finally, most people fail to realize that it is quite possible that bin Laden was never in Tora Bora to begin with. There exists no concrete intel to prove that he was there at the time. Most importantly, capturing bin Laden was not our No. 1 priority. Our mission was to topple the Taliban regime and rid Afghanistan of al Qaeda. If we caught bin Laden it would have been a major plus -- but it was not our No. 1 objective.

One must remember that Tora Bora was a military operation and its execution was a tactical decision, which means that it was never run by the president, and never should have been -- which makes this one less reason to hold the president directly accountable on this issue. If anyone should be accountable, it should be us. And we are more than satisfied with the way we handled the Afghan war -- including Tora Bora. If we had to do it again, we'd do it exactly the same way. [emphasis added]

Tell me again just how Kerry would have done this differently? Kerry would still be begging France, Germany and Russia to act, so outsourcing military options would not have been an issue. Saddam and the Taliban would still control Iraq and Afghanistan.

General Tommy Franks also rebutt's Kerry in today's WSJ. It's difficult to believe that a man who seeks to be CINC would so poison the atmosphere and damage his relationship with the military staff he needs to have full confidence in his judgement. It would be folly for any presidential candidate pursue this strategy with troops engaged abroad, but for one with the anti-military baggage Kerry drags behind him, it is beyond stupid, it tells one all they need to know about his judgement and character.

Ironically, should Kerry win he will be the commander of a divisive war without a clear resolution, an implacable foe capable of striking on American soil, an alienated coalition leadership and a hostile military command. Kerry will not be able to deliver on his promises and the MSM will turn on him in a NY minute. As the gentleman who heckled Kerry during the primary predicted, the anti-war Left will grow to hate and oppose him as they did Lyndon Johnson.

Somewhere Dick Nixon is laughing his ass off.

Posted by feste at 08:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sky Falls, Chickens Panic

The world is truely askew, Treacher appears in the WSJ

No More Years

Ten reasons I'm not voting for you, Mr. George W. Bush.

10. Do you really think it's a good idea to be Hitler, George? Hitler killed millions of people and his approval ratings are in the toilet. Why can't you be somebody people like? Regis, maybe, or the Prophet Mohammed. Anybody but Hitler! Being Hitler = BAD IDEA.

9. Two words: You. Are. Dumb.

8. When Karl Rove used the remote-control device implanted in your upper back to force you to murder Iraqi babies and American soldiers for oil and/or no reason because Saddam was mean to your dad, plus what about the WMDs you lost after you lied about them even being there in the first place, and then Rove tried to make everybody think your Thanksgiving turkey wasn't plastic by planting fake documents about your military service and forcing Dan Rather to say "Sorry, I guess" on national TV, did you really think we wouldn't figure it out?

7. People might make fun of me. Maybe you're used to it by now, but I'm not.

6. I mean, black hoods? Fa-shion dis-a-a-a-ster. Wasn't Abu Ghraib dreary enough already? (More like Abu Drab!) I would have started a riot--a laugh riot. While pointing at you!

5. How dare you taunt a dying Christopher Reeve with a big brown bottle of stem cells? The man was on his deathbed, you sick monster. Why did you have to hold the spoon right in front of his lips? "C'mon, Chrissy, it's right here. You can do it, bwah! Just another coupla inches. Oooh, yer close. Close!" Shame on you, Dubya.

4. I can't really think of anything for item No. 4, and for that I blame you. (Also the Jews.)

3. Where's Osama? C'mon, Shrub, we all know you've got him in some secret Ashcroft prison and he's running around loose in the world, plus also besides which everybody just saw him live on tape giving the dramatic reading of "Fahrenheit 9/11" that the Halliburton PR department wrote for him to swing the election your way. Well???

2. The Internet.

1. I can no longer afford the premiums on my falling-sky insurance. Adios, chimp!

Posted by Zozo at 07:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack