December 14, 2004

Bonfire of the Vanities #76

I was fruitlessly casting around for a holiday metaphor when it arrived on my doorstep with a thud.

bonfire o' the fruitcake

The Bonfire is to Blogosphere carnivals as the Fruitcake is to Christmas.

Fruitcake presents itself as a mass of rum-soaked Sultanas, nuts du jour, coma-inducing glace fruit, glow-in-the-dark Dye #6 red cherries and chewy sour citron bits bound together with a substance that definitely isn't cake. One isn't quite sure what to do with it when it arrives and as the Bonfire re-gifting lives on in browser caches, Aunt Tillie's fruitcake, circa 1946, lurks in your mother's pantry, awaiting it's next destination.

Also like the Bonfire, fruitcake has it it own Festival in Manitou Springs, CO, origins in many cultures, a clever branding campaign at the prestigious FPI and the entire enterprise of consuming one is vastly improved with a wee dram or two of whiskey on the side.

That said, shall we throw a pint or two of 151-proof Bloggy Bilge Water on the Bonfire?

Sneakeasy the Mad Macedonian's "He Coulda Been a Contendah" has a point in there somewhere.

The Unrepentant Leftist writes that his days of florescent orange hair are gone. Say it ain't so, Rob.

Ghost of a Flea manages to work Martin Amis and a semi-nude photo of Farah Fawcett into the same post. Howzah!

In the ever helpful This Blog is Full of Crap, Lair offers advice on powdering one's nose at the table...of course he doesn't address passing the straw to the right or the left.

Chainik Hocker posts the only thing worse than a bad post is the post that COULD HAVE achieved greatness.

Spirit Fingers claims If you look like a stud, you feel like a stud. Dammit!

Shall we pause to consider that?

Ferdinand the Conservative Cat offers helpful advice in The Tongue Incident. Ouch!

I'm shocked, shocked! The American Mind points out Bill Clinton's new twist on accoona matata.

Rick at Right Wingnuthouse claims there is such a thing as using the word "moonbat" too many times in a post. I think not.

VH1 Reinforces My Pet Jawa's homophobia and all this time I thought Jawas were bi-mu.nuvian.

Andrew Ian Dodge lists New PC terms. As an Owner Operator, I'll drink to that!

Opinionated Bastard says Nice Guys Finish First, oh fine, now he tells me.

"Probably my dumbest post ever." We'll be the judge of that, Lair.

The fantasy football season is almost over and Josh at D-42 is feeling dirty for starting the archenemy's defense.

Interested-Participant sends word that Cherrypicker kills banana farmer. Police are investigating. No film at 11?

Joe's Blog posts the mother-of-all reminders that these people are not our friends. [Warning Severe Eye Damage May Ensue]

Classical Values opines that James Wolcott can't drive a semi without a colon in Divinely Discontented Drippings of Deliverance.

Mad Anthony complains about poorly written help files in modern computer software. Yabbut can you complain in Hindi?

Espresso Sarcasm had a slow posting day and sends along the lamest excuse yet "it's not really even a post, just a comment I left on another blog." Kudos Norman!

PoliARt asks the final burning question of BOTV Numero 76: Girls in Tube Tops or Christians?

My entry is the sorriest idea of the year.

Cheers! We're Done!

However, if you should get your hands on one of these babies, then a good Bourbon will be called for in copious quantities.

Next week's Bonfire will be held at The Zero Boss

Thanks for participating, let me know if I karked up your link or missed a Haloscan trackback.

Posted by feste at December 14, 2004 08:01 PM | TrackBack

Well, he couldah been! :-)

Another wonderful job of Carnival hosting! :-)

Posted by: Kiril at December 15, 2004 12:18 AM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?