The Arcata Eye* publishes the town's police log in doggerel and limerick...you must read it. all.
Saturday, March 1 11:38 p.m.
Across from the store
Drums resounded,
throbbingly
Then the fuzz homed in.
Monday, March 2 12:30 a.m. Those two women on the Plaza’s north side weren’t doing anything illegal.
12:58 a.m. The Deep Groove Society enlivened a rave “somewhere near the corner of Sixth and F streets.” Withal, the Net Gen wingding wound down.
Sunday, March 9 10:36 p.m. “Get away from me!” she screamed amid the sound of slamming doors and breaking glass. Police found a he, a she and a trailer park. The first two left with each other.
Sunday, March 23 1:52 a.m. Rumors of roiling turbulence at the donut shop proved unfounded.
Tuesday, March 25 8:57 a.m. A man in a green hooded jacket carried on the regurgitation tradition down at the Community Center, simultaneously gut-horking and digging through a trash can. Police asked him not to multitask in such a manner, in fact, not to be there at all.
9:14 a.m. A woman experienced the miracle of the digital age when she discovered someone, somewhere making charges on her credit card. And so the paperwork began.
Thursday, March 27 8:36 a.m. Someone spent the night in the cab of an old Dodge tow truck. Maybe we'll get a song out of it.
3:33 p.m. A merry quartet of subjects of the Magical (THC-induced) kingdom assembled "by the little castle" in Redwood Park, the better to suck the tool of their marijuana god. Enchantment subsided as hand-eye skills were severely tasked to scrawl sigs on cites.
4:22 a.m. Some kind of weird tangle that originated in Eureka culminated in a death threat in Valley West. Someone had a red car.
5:22 a.m. Another small red car in Valley West, and another report of someone going to "kill" a husband. It all dwindled off into yet another bout of Arcata's favorite pastime - parking lot yelling.
*Arcata is a small Northern California town known in the Bay Area for it's newspaper, Humbolt State and a mix of Liberal, Green, settler and logger/redneck culture.