Are You Miserable Bunky?

Just how miserable ARE you?

John Kerry claims you are the most miserable ever, he even has a newly minted "Misery Index" to prove it. Of course the decades old, agreed upon criteria for the real misery index, unemployment and inflation don't work for him, so he has a new set of criteria by which you may judge your misery:

The Kerry/Sperling Fantasy Misery Index:

• median family income,
  
• college tuition,
  
• health-care costs,
  
• gas prices,
  
• bankruptcy rates,
  
• private-sector job growth (means what?)
  
• homeownership rate ( which is the highest on record, so that is a puzzling item)

That first misery index, invented by the late Arthur Okun, an economic adviser to former Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, was an easy-to-grasp gauge that combined monthly unemployment figures with the annual percent change in the consumer price index, otherwise known as inflation. It peaked at about 21 back in 1980, and in February sat at 7.29, which is down a tiny bit since President Bush took office and, as noted by the campaign, lower than where it was when Bill Clinton sought re-election in 1996 (8.22), not to mention Mr. Bush's father in 1992 (9.46), Ronald Reagan in 1984 (12.49) and Jimmy Carter in 1980 (20.46).
[...]
This newfangled misery index, in case you weren't confused yet, is measured in the opposite way from its better-known progenitor — a higher number means less, not more, misery.

Under President Bush (the current one), the Kerry misery index has fallen 13 points, the worst three-year decline ever (other bad patches were 1979-82 and 1989-92, which, depending on your perspective, either creates a convenient pattern around new Republican presidents or an odd coincidence relating to the start of decades). Mr. Sperling's old boss, former President Clinton, saw this middle-class misery index shoot up (remember, up is good, down miserable) 23 points during his tenure; the current President's father watched it fall (down = bad) 12 points

Let's see how the Feste Family rates: median family income increased slightly, all college paid, Health-care costs minimal (excellent employer coverage), gas prices are always high in my area=1 misery point, no bankruptcies, full employment among adults seeking work, own home.

On a scale of 1-7, the Feste Family rates a 1.

Yikes! Is 1 good or bad? I didn't realize how awful my life is until Senator Kerry pointed it out.

How about you? Are you worse off by the Kerry/Sperling "Fantasy Misery Index"?

(If Kerry and the Dems continue to make up shit, I'm going to be forced to change this category from Election 2004 to Fantasia 04)

Posted by feste at April 12, 2004 04:16 PM | TrackBack